IN THE NAME OF TOLERANCE

The First Birthday Without You

This is a very late post and I wasn't sure I would ever share it, but I'm not as sensitive about my grandmother's passing as I was in December.

On my Grandmother's Facebook wall I wrote,

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday. I'm a little sorry you weren't here to celebrate it with us. Still, I can't be sad. You were always pushing me, and proud of me... in some way, I feel like you already knew what would become of me. You knew I would get accepted into a great school, get married, be in ministry, raise children, have Godly success overall. So much of that hasn't happened yet but I can see it in the near distance. I can't help but be thankful for having a grandmother who loved me with that whole 1/8th of her grandmother heart to help me know I can do anything I put my mind to, and it before the Lord. I don't have any proof that you can or can't watch us from wherever you are, but I believe you didn't leave us without knowing.

I will always love you Granny!

{Thinking about someone special}

The Committed Courtship (July-Aug 2015)

I've been convicted since Friday that obedience is punctual and, since Sunday  School this morning, that the word of God and prayer are my lifeline when I truly don't know what to think or what to do.

Unwilling tell my boyfriend in detail how he'd been bashed by another guy, I paused [from texting] and prayed. The thought came to me that I needed to read something from a book I picked up several years ago, The Committed Marriage. My boyfriend called me so I hesitated a little, but soon enough I opened the book and it fell to the section that describes the importance of friendship in a marriage. My boyfriend was fine with listening to me read. The chapter contained the story of a man named Michael and his wife Jackie.

At the pinnacle of his success, Michael made a dumb move that cost his family every penny of their wealth, their two homes, and Michael's self-worth. Michael fully expected his wife to leave him. He was sure he'd be ridiculed and rejected by absolutely everyone in his life. That surety was enough to put him on the very brink of suicide. But his wife Jackie was so loving and supportive that she literally saved him and helped him get back on his feet even though he felt like useless scum waste. It was an ongoing process for Michael to get himself together, but with Jackie by his side he was more empowered to make it than he ever would have thought on his own.

Reading through the story, especially when I read "Michael," my boyfriend got excited to hear his name and I guess connect the story as a hint to how his own future marriage with me might be. He even interrupted me once to say "I like this chapter!"

Even today, August 4, while reading The Legend of the Monk and the Merchant, I was reminded of what unconditional love looks like. The life story of the main character includes the retelling of his major fo-pa. The young man had built a very successful business and was now married to the most beautiful woman he could ever imagine. One day, his factory gave out and everything was totally destroyed. His business, for what he could see, was over. Soon  he would have no wealth left over. Yet his beautiful wife, who for the duration of their marriage had enjoyed the comforts and pleasures of his wealth and was now three months pregnant, supported him although he was totally distraught (p 77). 

She could have just as easily left him. Jackie could have left Michael. I'm sure at some point, both women had to endure being talked about because they stayed married to "a failure." They had faith in their husbands. They loved them unconditionally: for better and for absolute worst.

[This might sound deep for a girl who's just dating right now, but] I believe God was reaffirming me. I had begun to doubt myself for choosing to love my Michael unconditionally with all his broken parts and even when he is "less than." There's nothing wrong with my decision. In fact, it's more purposeful to love this way... I'm making good headway practice in being a good friend to my husband,whoever he is... Although I told God, I want it to be him.